Paramount's March '06 Releases
Get Rich or Die Tryin' (April 14/06)
Though he's completely devoid of anything even resembling talent, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson proves to be one of the least problematic aspects of Get Rich or Die Tryin'. The film, directed by Jim Sheridan (!), plays out like a prototypical gangster movie, with little in the way of innovation or originality thrown into the mix. The story follows Marcus (Jackson) as he attempts to quit his drug-dealing lifestyle and establish himself as a serious rapper, much to the chagrin of some of the more dangerous figures in his life (including a sinister crime lord played by Bill Duke). Get Rich or Die Tryin' is never quite able to overcome the incredible familiarity of the plot, with the egregiously slow-pace and lack of character development only compounding matters. It certainly doesn't help that at the center of all this is Jackson, a thoroughly uncharismatic performer who sports exactly one facial expression during the film's runtime (toothy indifference seems to be the best way to describe it). And while there are some good actors here - in addition to Duke, the supporting cast includes Terrence Howard, Joy Bryant, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje - Jackson's inability to create a character that's even remotely compelling ultimately transforms Get Rich or Die Tryin' into a distinctly tedious piece of work.
out of
Sliver (April 1/06)
Released in 1993, Sliver marked the beginning of the end of Joe Eszterhas' screenwriting career. The film, a financial disaster, was followed by high-profile bombs such as Showgirls and Jade, and though it might not be quite as bad as either of those efforts, Sliver generally comes off as a slick but ultimately empty and surprisingly dull piece of work. Sharon Stone stars as Carly Norris, a successful book editor who moves into a modern high-rise and promptly finds herself embroiled in a steamy relationship with a mysterious game developer named Zeke (William Baldwin). Carly must also contend with a series of suspicious deaths, of which both Zeke and a local author (Tom Berenger) are the primary suspects. With its salacious plot twists and unmistakable vibe of trashiness, Sliver is sporadically watchable - though the emphasis on Carly and Zeke's illicit relationship becomes tiresome almost immediately (stripped of its thriller elements, the movie is really just a subpar 9 1/2 Weeks clone).
out of
Spring Break Shark Attack (March 26/06)
Not even remotely as much fun as its title suggests, Spring Break Shark Attack is a particularly inept made-for-TV movie that fails to deliver on virtually every single level (although there are a couple of semi-intriguing shark sequences towards the end). Most of the film revolves around a college student named Danielle (Shannon Lucio) and her less-than-enthralling efforts to choose between two potential beaus, which consequently affords the proceedings the feel of a shallow and silly teen drama. That an average episode of The O.C. or Everwood possesses more depth than this certainly doesn't help matters, nor does the decidedly subpar dialogue by scripter James LaRosa (one character, during a vicious shark attack, exclaims, "this is freakin' nuts!") The incongruous presence of veterans Kathy Baker and Bryan Brown among the film's cast is nothing short of baffling, and although Lucio comes off as charming and likeable, she's not given the opportunity to do much other than look thoroughly concerned. The inevitable shark attack emerges just as all hope seems lost, and is admittedly fairly decent - if utterly absurd (dozens of the waterborne predators descend upon a gaggle of partying kids aboard a houseboat). It's just the sort of campy fun that's sorely missing from the majority of Spring Break Shark Attack, and it seems highly unlikely anybody but the most indescriminating teenager will find much here worth embracing.
