Paramount's March '06 Releases
Sliver (April 1/06)
Released in 1993, Sliver marked the beginning of the end of Joe Eszterhas' screenwriting career. The film, a financial disaster, was followed by high-profile bombs such as Showgirls and Jade, and though it might not be quite as bad as either of those efforts, Sliver generally comes off as a slick but ultimately empty and surprisingly dull piece of work. Sharon Stone stars as Carly Norris, a successful book editor who moves into a modern high-rise and promptly finds herself embroiled in a steamy relationship with a mysterious game developer named Zeke (William Baldwin). Carly must also contend with a series of suspicious deaths, of which both Zeke and a local author (Tom Berenger) are the primary suspects. With its salacious plot twists and unmistakable vibe of trashiness, Sliver is sporadically watchable - though the emphasis on Carly and Zeke's illicit relationship becomes tiresome almost immediately (stripped of its thriller elements, the movie is really just a subpar 9 1/2 Weeks clone).
out of
Spring Break Shark Attack (March 26/06)
Not even remotely as much fun as its title suggests, Spring Break Shark Attack is a particularly inept made-for-TV movie that fails to deliver on virtually every single level (although there are a couple of semi-intriguing shark sequences towards the end). Most of the film revolves around a college student named Danielle (Shannon Lucio) and her less-than-enthralling efforts to choose between two potential beaus, which consequently affords the proceedings the feel of a shallow and silly teen drama. That an average episode of The O.C. or Everwood possesses more depth than this certainly doesn't help matters, nor does the decidedly subpar dialogue by scripter James LaRosa (one character, during a vicious shark attack, exclaims, "this is freakin' nuts!") The incongruous presence of veterans Kathy Baker and Bryan Brown among the film's cast is nothing short of baffling, and although Lucio comes off as charming and likeable, she's not given the opportunity to do much other than look thoroughly concerned. The inevitable shark attack emerges just as all hope seems lost, and is admittedly fairly decent - if utterly absurd (dozens of the waterborne predators descend upon a gaggle of partying kids aboard a houseboat). It's just the sort of campy fun that's sorely missing from the majority of Spring Break Shark Attack, and it seems highly unlikely anybody but the most indescriminating teenager will find much here worth embracing.
out of