Mini Reviews (June 2005)
Howl's Moving Castle, Falling Hard, Head-On, Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life, Bewitched, Land of the Dead, Rebound, Overnight
Howl's Moving Castle (June 9/05)
It seems clear that Howl's Moving Castle has been designed to appeal solely to animation buffs; it's hard to imagine neophytes to the genre or even kids getting much out of this impenetrable film. The movie features a lack of compelling characters along with an expectedly baffling storyline, ensuring that only the most die-hard fans of director Hayao Miyazaki will find something here worth embracing. Set in some kind of an alternate reality where witches and warlocks are commonplace, Howl's Moving Castle follows a young girl named Sophie who finds herself magically transformed into an old lady by an ill-tempered hag, and her only hope lies with a socially-inept warlock. There's no denying that Howl's Moving Castle is quite impressive in terms of its visuals, but there's nothing here to keep the viewer engaged; Miyazaki himself has admitted that the plot makes no sense, while the scarcely-developed characters aren't even remotely interesting. The film is completely lacking in momentum, a problem that only gets worse as it progresses (that the storyline becomes increasingly esoteric and hard-to-follow certainly doesn't help matters). Adding insult to injury is the dubbed soundtrack that Disney has attached to the movie for its North American release; this sort of thing is no longer acceptable for so-called "adult" movies (ie Hero, House of Flying Daggers), so why is it okay for an animated flick?
out of
Falling Hard (June 15/05)
Though it's obviously been shot on a miniscule budget, it's hard not to become wrapped up in Falling Hard's simple yet incredibly effective storyline. Mike (Sitara Falcon) has a good job and a loving girlfriend, yet it's clear that he's not entirely happy with the way his life's turned out. Problems ensue when Mike begins spending more and more time with Amy (Rebecca Sanabria), who just happens to be dating Mike's best friend and roommate. The two begin having an affair, and it's not long before Mike's girlfriend and roommate figure out what's going on. Falling Hard has its share of problems - ie it's occasionally more melodramatic than it needs to be and there are a couple of questionable pop songs on the soundtrack - but there's no denying that writer/director Matt Kurtz has imbued the film with a real sense of sincerity and honesty (no small feat, given that Kurtz is making his debut here). Falcon and Sanabria are surprisingly effective in their roles, while Kurtz has a keen ear for unforced, natural-sounding dialogue. It's that sort of authenticity that elevates Falling Hard to more than just another low-budget, self-conscious indie flick about relationships (and it seems likely that Kurtz is destined for bigger and better things).
out of
Head-On (June 17/05)
Aside from a decidedly unsentimental conclusion, Head-On is essentially the sort of movie one imagines a mainstream-Hollywood filmmaker like Garry Marshall tackling. The story revolves around a mismatched pair - a middle-aged drunk named Cahit (Birol Ünel) and Sibel (Sibel Kekilli), a suicidal free-spirit - who enter into a marriage of convenience and soon find themselves actually falling for one another. Writer/director Fatih Akin peppers Head-On with a variety of needlessly self-conscious touches that serve only to distract the viewer from the sporadically intriguing storyline, something that's particularly true of the chorus that reinforces the on-screen action. It's a shame, really, given that both Ünel and pornstar-turned-actress Kekilli are actually quite good in their roles, though it's hard to ignore the unpleasant, almost relentless vibe of seediness.
out of
Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life (June 25/05)
It really is astounding just how terrible Cyber Seduction is, as it's incompetent on virtually every single level (the screenplay, the acting, the direction...everything sucks). The movie plays out like a 21st century Reefer Madness, with internet porn substituting for marijuana. Jeremy Sumpter plays an all-state swimmer whose life begins to spiral out of control after he finds himself addicted to pornography (ie his girlfriend leaves him, he's kicked off the swim team, his mother practically disowns him, etc). It's hard to determine whether or not screenwriters Wesley Bishop and Richard Kletter actually expect the viewer to take any of this seriously; the film is so over-the-top and ridiculous, it often seems to be operating on the level of parody. Aside from the fact that Cyber Seduction's entire premise is patently absurd (a teen's life is destroyed by doing exactly what teens do), the film doesn't feature a single moment that feels even remotely authentic. It's as though Bishop and Kletter wanted to present the absolute worst-case scenario in terms of internet porn, and went one step beyond that. The acting is expectedly broad, with Sumpter and TV-mom Kelly Lynch offering up horrific and egregious scenery-chewing performances (though, in their defense, the screenplay doesn't exactly allow for a whole lot of subtlety). Cyber Seduction is a complete mess, and because the film appears to have been crafted to appeal solely to ultra-religious viewers, the majority of rational folks will find themselves rolling their eyes throughout.
no stars out of
Bewitched (June 25/05)
While it's not quite as bad as last summer's The Stepford Wives, Bewitched is nevertheless a fairly mediocre little comedy that proves that Nicole Kidman should probably stay away from the genre. Kidman plays Isabel Bigelow, a ditzy witch who - at the film's outset - is determined to put a stop to her black magic ways and live a life of normalcy. Her short-lived search for a job comes to an end when movie star Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell) invites her to test for a starring role in an update of the '60s sitcom Bewitched. She gets the role, but Jack hogs the spotlight - forcing Isabel to embark upon a campaign of humiliation (resulting in the film's only funny sequence, in which Isabel messes with Jack's delivery during a scene). Bewitched starts out well enough - with its look behind the scenes of the fake show, it's actually pretty interesting - but somewhere around the halfway point, the film goes completely off the rails. It's at that point that the film becomes something entirely different, as co-writer and director Nora Ephron focuses more on Isabel and her mischievous ways (ie the hex she puts on Jack, her ability to turn back time, etc). There's just not enough momentum to carry the film through to the end, despite the best efforts of a very capable cast (in addition to Kidman and Ferrell, the movie features appearances from Michael Caine, David Alan Grier, and Jason Schwartzman). And by the time Steve Carell pops up in a cameo as Uncle Arthur, it's clear that Ephron (along with writers Adam McKay and Delia Ephron) just didn't have enough material for a full-length feature.
out of
Land of the Dead (June 30/05)
Given the recent resurgence in zombie flicks, it seemed inevitable that George A. Romero - the grandfather of the genre - would return to the fray. Land of the Dead is ostensibly a sequel to 1985's Day of the Dead, though there are no recurring characters. The film kicks off with the revelation that zombies have essentially taken over the earth, forcing the remaining survivors to take refuge inside a walled city. There, an evil capitalist (played by Dennis Hopper) has established an exclusive building catering solely to the upper crust - with everyone else left to fend for themselves on the streets. It's a system that most folks have grown to accept, though all hell breaks loose once the zombies figure out how to enter the city. As expected, Romero peppers Land of the Dead with instances of social commentary - yet it's hard not to wish the filmmaker would just get on with it already (the movie's midsection, as a result, is surprisingly slow and talky). Having said that, the final act - featuring the zombie blitz on the city - is just as exciting and gory as one might've hoped (it doesn't hurt that Romero takes full advantage of computer imagery to beef up the violence). And then there's the zombies themselves, which - through evolution, I guess - have apparently gotten smarter (they even have a leader). It's a silly idea, but Romero somehow pulls it off - although his efforts to garner sympathy from the audience for the creatures fall flat. In the end, Land of the Dead isn't quite the instant classic everyone was hoping for; it is, however, a better-than-average horror film (as well as a distinct improvement over most contemporary zombie flicks).
out of
Rebound (June 30/05)
When you get right down to it, there's no reason for Rebound to even exist - apart from giving star Martin Lawrence something to do between various sequels (lord help us, there's a Big Momma's House 2 on the horizon). There's not a single moment in the movie that feels authentic or original, and as a result, even the most inept audience member should have no problem predicting virtually every single plot development. Lawrence stars as Roy McCormick, a celebrity coach who is forced to clean up his image after being suspended from the game for life. He does this by returning to his old school to help out with their losing basketball team, which is comprised of an expectedly motley crew of misfits and losers. Like the recent Will Ferrell comedy Kicking & Screaming, Rebound makes the pivotal mistake of eschewing the kids in favor of the star - a disastrous choice that doesn't fit in with the mold already established by this genre (think of The Mighty Ducks or The Bad News Bears). These films work best when we actually get to see the inept players improve, in addition to the progression of the star from inconsiderate jerk to caring coach. Rebound only features the latter, a choice that's exacerbated by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore's hopelessly incompetent and utterly predictable screenplay. It certainly doesn't help that virtually the entire movie takes place within the tiny confines of the school's gym, a cost-cutting move that lends the preceedings an increasingly claustrophobic vibe. Rebound isn't completely unwatchable, I suppose, but there's just got to be a better way to spend 87 minutes.
out of
Overnight (June 30/05)
Ostensibly a documentary on the rise and fall of Troy Duffy, Overnight plays out like an 82-minute attack on the filmmaker by a couple of exceedingly bitter ex-colleagues. The movie revolves around Duffy's overnight success with his screenplay The Boondock Saints, following an unprecedented deal with Miramax Films (not only did Duffy receive final cut, but his band was scheduled to record the score). But Duffy's overbearing and incredibly pushy nature eventually alienated Miramax boss Harvey Weinstein, who put the movie in turnaround and made it virtually impossible for the film to get made anywhere else (Duffy was essentially blacklisted). All of this is bad news for Tony Montana and Mark Brian Smith, the two men hired by Duffy to document his post-movie contract career (they're also part of The Brood, Duffy's band, and it's soon revealed that neither has been paid well for their efforts). As a result, the majority of the film's choices feel dictated by Montana and Smith's enmity towards Duffy, something that's exacerbated by their obnoxious, needlessly arty sense of style (the movie is peppered with film-school shenanigans, including dramatic slow-motion, switches from color to black-and-white, etc). Worse than that, the movie never makes it clear just why Duffy was dropped from Miramax's roster; anybody who's watched both seasons of Project Greenlight knows that the company has no qualms about arbitrarily shelving films. Overnight does feature a few intriguing moments - Duffy's enormous ego is good for some entertainment - but it seems obvious that the movie wouldn't even exist if it weren't for Montana and Smith's overwhelming need to get back at Duffy.
